Endings & New Beginnings

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Hello Dearest Reader,

What are you leaving behind in 2017 and inviting in ’18?  What would give you closure for anything left hanging – such as communicating unresolved feelings, following up on a commitment, reaching out to someone you’ve been meaning to contact, etc.  What are you inviting for the new year?

What’s been the most significant happenings of the year for you?  This year has been very intense for me, hands down.  My father passed on Easter, I got married, and my brain started working way better, propelling me out of a two year mid-life crisis of sorts.  At times I’ve felt like I was heaving without breath, and at other times I’ve experienced a renewed inspiration from deep within that’s restoring my sense of self, growing me by leaps and bounds – and expanding my heart with new understandings of death, and therefore life.  What a gift it all is, even though it seems we may break into pieces at times.

Like to go deeper with what you’re leaving behind in 2017, and what your invoking for ’18?  Here are some questions to foster your focus:

-what’s been a powerful lesson for you in this past year that you’d like to leave behind, yet take the learnings with you?  What are those learnings?  How have you been affected, your life changed, and how have you grown?

-how has your heart been most touched?  How does this help with what you wish to invoke in 2018?

-what’s your intention for 2018, and your plan of action for going for it, based on what you’ve learned, how your heart has been touched, and how you’ve changed?

-do you have a self-care plan in place, with support (especially if this has been difficult for you in the past) for ’18?  Outline it in detail, along with a doable structure.

Consciously reviewing and releasing whats passed, learning from it, and setting forth on what you really want – may we let go of self-sabotaging thinking that leads to (self)destructive behaviors.  Through support and sharing, many things are possible where we otherwise may feel alone and isolated.

Remember the old saying  “success doesn’t always go to the most talented, smartest, and wealthiest – it often goes to those who show up and persist.”

So, what do you really want and what’s your support to get it?

My love to you this holiday season, and in 2018!

Dr. Amy

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Nov. News, Metoo, Youtoo, Wetoo

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Hello Dearest Reader,

Better late than never this edition!

With so much media around the Metoo topic – that historically has been subconscious and suppressed – its now been plunged to the collective surface. Most every woman (and many men) I know personally, and have worked with, have experienced some form of violation. Myself included from conception through childhood, and on… until I gained enough hard earned awareness to end the cycle.

Yes, you too, me too, and all of us.  It is quite rare to encounter someone (especially a woman), who hasn’t been victimized, violated, and then found herself in a role of saving others.  This age-old pain has plagued humanity forever. Karpmans Triangle details this cycle – https://www.karpmandramatriangle.com

Is this to suggest abdication of the perpetrators responsibility, or diminishment of the victim’s pain?  

Not at all, actually the opposite.  It’s to highlight how abusive behavior is learned and repeated – and to empower ourselves to step out the victim, villain, victor cycle.  And in this context, as a naturopath, it’s to take account how this issue affects our health, self-worth, and how we use food and substance… especially when stressed.

A few mornings ago I was juicing on our porch – as I do every day – in the warm Ibiza sun.  Being at the end of a very isolated mountain road that has zero traffic, and only the odd hiker, I feel very safe and expect absolutely no one, as I juice naked.

On this particular day, 2 men came out of nowhere – no sound of a car to warn – and smiled at me as they stridently walked towards the edge of our property that drops down to expansive sea.  The view is mind-blowingly beautiful… and on a private road, on private property.  The uninvited didn’t ask permission to enter, or acknowledge my nakedness.  This instantly ignited and infuriated me. Wrapping a sarong around myself, Luna barked full blast on their heels.  I felt my fury grow as I walked towards them.

The younger of the two seemed to understand that I was angry, while the older attempted arguing with me in broken English.  Basically saying he wouldn’t leave.  Outraged, and surprising myself, I stood my ground, shouting at the top of my lungs, pointing towards the exit repeatedly yelling,  “OUT!!!”    Lingering a few moments as if nothing had happened, they began to leave, not acknowledging their trespass.

Astonished, I didn’t feel victimized.  On the contrary, I felt incredibly empowered as I did a few things I hadn’t always done in the past when feeling violated.

This is what I learned:
-letting another feel my fury in an appropriate way, on the spot, is my responsibility… and that may feel intense, AND It’s one way I can take care of myself.
-I can’t control another’s actions or reactions, though I can make choices (such as instantly facing violation and speaking out) that help me to step out of the perpetrators path – and end perpetrating myself.  What I don’t stop continues.
-holding another accountable doesn’t wrong them (unless blame is involved)… it actually creates boundaries, and the opportunity for respect.
-Even if another doesn’t honor boundaries, I still can.
-Speak up and out, use your voice.  No one else can do that for us.  I learn to take care of myself by letting others know what’s ok and what’s not – even when it’s painful, or not popular.
-to thyself be true; speak my truth, especially when I feel awkward, uncomfortable or fear confrontation. Do it anyway.
-be there for myself… sometimes that means calling a situation – ON THE SPOT – for what it is and expressing your wrath. Often we are the only one who can truly protect self.  Anger is a warning sign.
-even if the violator continues when you’ve expressed a boundary, don’t waiver. Stand by what’s ok with you and what’s not.
-the more I take care of myself, the less I crave and act out with food, being self-destructive, etc.…

Is self-care just about eating healthy, exercising, meditation, etc?  Not, it’s also about facing uncomfortable feelings and being fully present to them, especially when we resist or shy away from it.

Here’s to welcoming all parts of our self, humanity, and being willing to take care – no matter the situation.

Love & Support,

Dr. Amy

October News

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Yesterday, sitting outside in a London cafe, I began writing you amidst a balmy chill, beneath an eerie red sky. Very strong winds from the Sahara desert were blowing north from Africa, as a result of a hurricane off the northern coast of the UK that originated in the Azores.

Fires, hurricanes, earthquakes and volcano’s are center stage amongst world crisis, giving well-warranted concern over our collective condition.  Where do you find yourself within it all?

Meanwhile, we go to work, plan for the future, hopefully reconcile the past, and find presence amongst distraction… pondering what it all means and why – questioning where it’s all going.  Wow, yes wow.

How’s your wellbeing and health no matter your experience?  How are your food and lifestyle choices affected when stressed, uncertain or insecure?

Afresh from our crazy beautiful wedding a few weeks ago, I married my best friend and love of my life.  We’re basking in the after glow, receiving so many blessings, and integrating intense lessons as chaos abates.  I don’t plan on having another wedding, though one obvious thing I would do differently:  hire a wedding planner!

On the up side, amazing friends came together to help, and it leveraged me out of a 2 year mid-life crisis, all of which gave me two very potent lessons:  when you’re stressed – don’t power through it, come up for air – and express how you feel; and second, though union is the greatest thing ever, never lose your own autonomy or voice, always be sure to take care of yourself first.

The longer I live, the more I learn to take my medicine sooner rather than latter.  Plus, the power of friends and community is one of the greatest things we can share, especially when we see the best in one another, no matter what we go through.  Besides, no matter how the Earth may shake, it’s not the end of the world, just the death of something old, and the birth of something new – for those willing to experience labor.

Do you find yourself coming out of an intense period, or still in one?

Witnessing so much change in the past few years and with most everyone I know, I see a collective commonality:  one chapter closes and another begins, though we may find themselves somewhere in between, and still not sure of direction.

It’s as if we’ve received a software upgrade though we don’t quite know how the new operating system works.  The lessons we’ve learned from intense periods don’t always come with instruction manuals, though one thing is clear – to find out how much we’ve grown, we’ve got to put one foot in front of the other and embark upon our new journey, trusting that unfoldment begins as we take one step after the other.
As we collectively sit on the edge of our seats and watch, may we wait not.  Let us live, and love, no matter conditions or chaos.  This life is to be lived in all our imperfections, sharing all of ourselves, no just the pretty packaged parts.

Here’s to (self)love, and all it’s possibilities – loving each other, and this world, just the way we are… taking good care of ourselves and our community, no matter the condition.

My love and appreciation to you….

Amy

7 Ways To Tame Your Inner Task Master

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Hello Dearest Readers….

I had a strong response to last month’s newsletter on perfectionism.  Seems many of us relate to the quest for excellence gone awry.  You’re feedback inspired me to speak to its pesky twin – pressure and pride. In my experience they go hand in hand, when what may have started as a positive pursuit begins to adversely affect our health, relationships, etc.

Often what pushes pulls, compresses, then inevitably confines us to values we may not be not aligned with, though somehow we doggedly pursue despite the price we pay.

Unaware these rumbling and roadblocks were brewing inside of me in the past few years, I recently saw a beautiful film that helped me to understand what I didn’t know I was experiencing.  If you haven’t already seen it, I suggest checking out Dancer.  It’s a documentary of a young mans rise to fame as a ballet dancer, and the perfectionism, pressure, and pride (the 3 p’s) that evidentially lead to drugs and wanting to quite his passion.  I love how someone’s story can help us understand our own.

After seeing this film, I grasped to a greater degree how my own issues with “getting it perfect,” has put so much pressure on me that rebellion (against myself… duh) became a necessary, albeit unconscious tool, to tear down the pride that glued it all together.  Hence why eating 100% raw, and working like mad no longer satisfied me – not to say it won’t again, though I’m sure minus overworking and its personal toll.  Humbling and crushing yes, though I’d rather melt down than not heed the signs, and experience a major disaster (like I have in the past).

Climbing out of the backlash and pit of the 3 p’s – is both the challenge and opportunity – I’ve been going through in the past few years. You?

It’s like upgrading to a new operating system that’s rewiring your very psyche, though it takes time to repair the fallout of what perfectionism, pressure, and pride do to us humans.  Not always easy to face, though ignoring it only makes it worse and feeds the insatiable hungry ghost within.

This place doesn’t get enough food, sex, drugs, TV, workshops, etc.  Neglected, it can even erode our very existence. It’s as old as dusk being taken by night, and the quest for balance and light.  The good news is, there’s an alternative to our spiritual starvation that drives the taskmaster – nay slave driver – of the 3 p’s.   Here’s what helps me:

  1. coming back to self-care… (eat more raw, fasting, regular exercise, sauna, dry skin brush, quiet time, etc.)
  2. adjust thinking… meditation is medicine
  3. keep dreams alive…. live some aspect no matter how small or big daily
  4. soften a hard heart… breathing really helps, and embracing intimacy in all its forms
  5. accepting where I am, who I am… as is, point blank
  6. stop trying so hard…. it’s/I’m good enough now (not when this or that happens or doesn’t)
  7. hold the 3’ps… they need a lot of love, so why not cradle them?

I’ll miss you for part 2 this month, as I’m getting married next week!  Till next month!

Much Love,

Amy

Cleanse Q&A

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Photo by Yuliya Ginzburg on Unsplash

Student: Dear Amy,
I just wanted to update you and thank you. The cleanse went really well and I did 3 enemas 4 days running and this was the most powerful experience I have ever had with enemas. One was coffee. but i was in deep meditation and journeying with them, as profound as any plant medicine. In the spirit of doing this for my well-being and self care I created sacred space, lighting candles and incense and playing devotional music. I also set an intention each morning. One morning lasted 3 hours!! i also work with the beautiful coffee plant and the spirit of the water. My 7 days were up on Saturday but all day I really wanted something to eat so in the evening I listened to my body and had an avocado and some baby tomatoes which tasted like heaven. I have continued with juice during the day and something light at night. Last night I had such a craving for balsamic vinegar!!! I stopped having cramps in my stomach on day 6 I had been putting Baobab in my morning juice could this have caused it? The best thing has tuning into my body and allowing her voice. I am going for a colonic Wednesday. I am sure I have some candida which is why I am so sorry to miss your next webinar as I am away.I am now struggling to drink quite so much water. Would coconut water be OK?
About the flax I was OK taking that in the morning but the evening was tricky as you suggest a litre of water with it and it to the point I was up 2/3 times at night.
I have ordered a new juicer, a new improved one. My intention is to keep as clean as possible continue with green juices throughout the day.
I would love to stay connected.
Lots of love and blessings for your forthcoming wedding
PS Each morning before juicing or doing the enemas I did Anthony’s breath work

Amy: How very inspiring – and warming – to read about your experience.

I really acknowledge your ability of due diligence in your experience, and for honoring the Voice of Your Body. How very wonderful! And no matter what your choices, she’s always there… and should she not be, you know what to do to support here. This is blessed, and really significant!

Likely the cramps you spoke of were gas, though Baobab may have contributed to that –
so good you stopped taking it. If you were on an extended fast for some time, likely the
cramps would return if indeed it was just gas, and no the effect of the Baobab.
About drinking enough in a day.  Are you getting at least 4 liters in between juicing, water, and perhaps herbal tea?  This would be my suggestion, with limited amounts of coconut water, as it’s typically high in sugar.  The boxed coco water now available in the west is from hybirdized  coconuts which are – well, very full of sugar, so I suggest not going over with it…. tempting, as it is tasty!
We’ll be recording the candida webinar….
And yes about the flax seeds, I suggest continuing ongoing for some time, and best not to take them too late, as you found – you’ll likely be up peeing often in the night!
Great you’re getting a new juicer!
Love to you!!!

Starting Your Cleanse

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Student: Hi Amy, Thank you for Saturday’s webinar. I am now doing the juice only for 7 days, so thanks for that extra encouragement. I am just a bit confused about the enema and I can’t use the link on the manual. Could you send me the link? I am just a bit confused as to how much at one time and how often and when.

Amy: Great to hear about your juice fast! That’s exciting!

You’re referring to enemas yes? If you’re unsure how to actually do one, I suggest watching a YouTube video… on basic how to, that’s easiest.
How often? Daily while you’re fasting I suggest. When you wake up in the morning, drink a liter of water, wait about 15 minutes. Then so 3 bags in a row, so do one enema, then another right after, then a third. Once you get used to how it feels in your body, you’ll be able to sense when it feels complete and when you need to do another right after, or perhaps wait.
What’s needed and necessary is for your bowels to get saturated, both orally and rectally. That’s why drinking at least 6 liters of water, herbal tea and fresh juice is important orally – then the enemas.
If it cramps or feels uncomfortable as you insert the water, you can clamp there hose and take a bit of a break while breathing and calming your system, then proceed. Breathing, and reminding yourself you’re safe is key.
Let me know how you do!
Love, Amy

Perfectionism v. True Value

Dearest Reader,

In the Italian woods now, we’re making our way back home to Ibiza tomorrow to prepare for our wedding. After loads of travel, I’ve been wrapping up projects and the past.  I feel well traveled by more than just miles, and quieted by the focus of juggling many balls simultaneously on a few different continents.

Over the last few years of wrestling with self-doubt, loss of direction, and wondering what it’s all for… something different is organically shifting from a more denuded place within.  It silently whisper’s “own who you truly are, claim yourself, know your true value.”   Naked and vulnerable, it teaches me to rise up to something else I haven’t known is inside of me.  It shows me that potential is realized by taking the risk to live it.   Like knowing you can fly – though first you’ve got to leap – and voila, out sprouts wings!

How are life’s demands, twists, and turns landing for you?  Breathing?  I find allowing for the process and self-acceptance helps lots. Slowing down faces me with an old coping mechanism I didn’t know was there…. surely it’s a way to unconsciously self-protect:  it’s called perfectionism. Ouch, it just doesn’t allow for life’s lumps, bumps, unexpected curves, and things we cannot control.  What a load of pressure, and it may set us up for failure if we’re not aware of what’s driving us on a deeper level.

Do you suffer from perfectionism?  It looks something like this:  the mind locks onto a goal, idea, or belief (or combination), then like a terrier, it sinks its teeth in and just won’t let go. We go to great lengths and personal suffering to assure it’s done to our definition of perfect.  Thing is, that definition is variable, and changeable according to the perceiver.  It may not really be perfect, though as long as the perfectionist thinks so, then it may become her holy grail, and trap her in a pursuit that can be quite the double-edged sword, holding her hostage to a perceived value, causing her to miss her true worth.

Engaged healthfully, maintaining balance between the gas and the brake, perfectionism can help us excel to excellence. Playing full out beyond the pressure of perfectionism, we can concoct incredibly potent forms of medicine that are exactly what the doctor ordered. Used as an unconscious coping system to mask not feeling good enough on some level, it will likely have backlashes. Gone OCD, we may not register:  when we’ve done enough, the toll of tunnel vision, the pressure cooker, and perhaps most important… we may not have investigated our true value.

Possessed by perfectionism, when Ms./Mr. Perfectionist is unconsciously at the helm, we may not get much of a break and find ourselves pleasing and proving, overworking, self-criticizing, being hard on self (and others), self-punishing…. and well, a whole lot of “self” busyness that can get tiring. Meanwhile, the soul screams to be heard, and we may even find ourselves acting out with substance, sex, food, etc. Perfectionism can be hugely addictive. Modern culture is largely based on how we perform, how much we get done, and there are rewards and punishments that ensue.

Many on a “spiritual path” may use practices (meditation, yoga, cleansing, etc.) to perfection in an effort to redeem our past and gain esteem, though we still may not be enveloped and held by our true value.  The tendency to measure and mark our “progress” through a sense of accomplishment may outweigh our true worth, and mainly serve to cover what brews beneath.

Don’t get me wrong, in my view, perfectionism is neither a good or bad thing. Perhaps how we use it is more the question.  If we use it to cap our discomforts and pains, it may simultaneously limit the realization of our potential.  The good news is, used consciously, it can also serve as an opportunity to dig deeper within and tap the source of our true value, helping us to reclaim what isn’t contingent on how much or what we produce.

Here’s to the Great Strip Down and Denuding that perfectionism often resists and masks. May we trust delayering and de-armoring which often comes in the form of changes in career, relationships, moving, and simply not knowing our way at times.  Here’s to perfectionism helping us to be our best, above performance and production. .

My love & support to you,

Dr. Amy