7 Ways To Tame Your Inner Task Master

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Hello Dearest Readers….

I had a strong response to last month’s newsletter on perfectionism.  Seems many of us relate to the quest for excellence gone awry.  You’re feedback inspired me to speak to its pesky twin – pressure and pride. In my experience they go hand in hand, when what may have started as a positive pursuit begins to adversely affect our health, relationships, etc.

Often what pushes pulls, compresses, then inevitably confines us to values we may not be not aligned with, though somehow we doggedly pursue despite the price we pay.

Unaware these rumbling and roadblocks were brewing inside of me in the past few years, I recently saw a beautiful film that helped me to understand what I didn’t know I was experiencing.  If you haven’t already seen it, I suggest checking out Dancer.  It’s a documentary of a young mans rise to fame as a ballet dancer, and the perfectionism, pressure, and pride (the 3 p’s) that evidentially lead to drugs and wanting to quite his passion.  I love how someone’s story can help us understand our own.

After seeing this film, I grasped to a greater degree how my own issues with “getting it perfect,” has put so much pressure on me that rebellion (against myself… duh) became a necessary, albeit unconscious tool, to tear down the pride that glued it all together.  Hence why eating 100% raw, and working like mad no longer satisfied me – not to say it won’t again, though I’m sure minus overworking and its personal toll.  Humbling and crushing yes, though I’d rather melt down than not heed the signs, and experience a major disaster (like I have in the past).

Climbing out of the backlash and pit of the 3 p’s – is both the challenge and opportunity – I’ve been going through in the past few years. You?

It’s like upgrading to a new operating system that’s rewiring your very psyche, though it takes time to repair the fallout of what perfectionism, pressure, and pride do to us humans.  Not always easy to face, though ignoring it only makes it worse and feeds the insatiable hungry ghost within.

This place doesn’t get enough food, sex, drugs, TV, workshops, etc.  Neglected, it can even erode our very existence. It’s as old as dusk being taken by night, and the quest for balance and light.  The good news is, there’s an alternative to our spiritual starvation that drives the taskmaster – nay slave driver – of the 3 p’s.   Here’s what helps me:

  1. coming back to self-care… (eat more raw, fasting, regular exercise, sauna, dry skin brush, quiet time, etc.)
  2. adjust thinking… meditation is medicine
  3. keep dreams alive…. live some aspect no matter how small or big daily
  4. soften a hard heart… breathing really helps, and embracing intimacy in all its forms
  5. accepting where I am, who I am… as is, point blank
  6. stop trying so hard…. it’s/I’m good enough now (not when this or that happens or doesn’t)
  7. hold the 3’ps… they need a lot of love, so why not cradle them?

I’ll miss you for part 2 this month, as I’m getting married next week!  Till next month!

Much Love,

Amy

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Cleanse Q&A

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Photo by Yuliya Ginzburg on Unsplash

Student: Dear Amy,
I just wanted to update you and thank you. The cleanse went really well and I did 3 enemas 4 days running and this was the most powerful experience I have ever had with enemas. One was coffee. but i was in deep meditation and journeying with them, as profound as any plant medicine. In the spirit of doing this for my well-being and self care I created sacred space, lighting candles and incense and playing devotional music. I also set an intention each morning. One morning lasted 3 hours!! i also work with the beautiful coffee plant and the spirit of the water. My 7 days were up on Saturday but all day I really wanted something to eat so in the evening I listened to my body and had an avocado and some baby tomatoes which tasted like heaven. I have continued with juice during the day and something light at night. Last night I had such a craving for balsamic vinegar!!! I stopped having cramps in my stomach on day 6 I had been putting Baobab in my morning juice could this have caused it? The best thing has tuning into my body and allowing her voice. I am going for a colonic Wednesday. I am sure I have some candida which is why I am so sorry to miss your next webinar as I am away.I am now struggling to drink quite so much water. Would coconut water be OK?
About the flax I was OK taking that in the morning but the evening was tricky as you suggest a litre of water with it and it to the point I was up 2/3 times at night.
I have ordered a new juicer, a new improved one. My intention is to keep as clean as possible continue with green juices throughout the day.
I would love to stay connected.
Lots of love and blessings for your forthcoming wedding
PS Each morning before juicing or doing the enemas I did Anthony’s breath work

Amy: How very inspiring – and warming – to read about your experience.

I really acknowledge your ability of due diligence in your experience, and for honoring the Voice of Your Body. How very wonderful! And no matter what your choices, she’s always there… and should she not be, you know what to do to support here. This is blessed, and really significant!

Likely the cramps you spoke of were gas, though Baobab may have contributed to that –
so good you stopped taking it. If you were on an extended fast for some time, likely the
cramps would return if indeed it was just gas, and no the effect of the Baobab.
About drinking enough in a day.  Are you getting at least 4 liters in between juicing, water, and perhaps herbal tea?  This would be my suggestion, with limited amounts of coconut water, as it’s typically high in sugar.  The boxed coco water now available in the west is from hybirdized  coconuts which are – well, very full of sugar, so I suggest not going over with it…. tempting, as it is tasty!
We’ll be recording the candida webinar….
And yes about the flax seeds, I suggest continuing ongoing for some time, and best not to take them too late, as you found – you’ll likely be up peeing often in the night!
Great you’re getting a new juicer!
Love to you!!!

Starting Your Cleanse

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Student: Hi Amy, Thank you for Saturday’s webinar. I am now doing the juice only for 7 days, so thanks for that extra encouragement. I am just a bit confused about the enema and I can’t use the link on the manual. Could you send me the link? I am just a bit confused as to how much at one time and how often and when.

Amy: Great to hear about your juice fast! That’s exciting!

You’re referring to enemas yes? If you’re unsure how to actually do one, I suggest watching a YouTube video… on basic how to, that’s easiest.
How often? Daily while you’re fasting I suggest. When you wake up in the morning, drink a liter of water, wait about 15 minutes. Then so 3 bags in a row, so do one enema, then another right after, then a third. Once you get used to how it feels in your body, you’ll be able to sense when it feels complete and when you need to do another right after, or perhaps wait.
What’s needed and necessary is for your bowels to get saturated, both orally and rectally. That’s why drinking at least 6 liters of water, herbal tea and fresh juice is important orally – then the enemas.
If it cramps or feels uncomfortable as you insert the water, you can clamp there hose and take a bit of a break while breathing and calming your system, then proceed. Breathing, and reminding yourself you’re safe is key.
Let me know how you do!
Love, Amy

Perfectionism v. True Value

Dearest Reader,

In the Italian woods now, we’re making our way back home to Ibiza tomorrow to prepare for our wedding. After loads of travel, I’ve been wrapping up projects and the past.  I feel well traveled by more than just miles, and quieted by the focus of juggling many balls simultaneously on a few different continents.

Over the last few years of wrestling with self-doubt, loss of direction, and wondering what it’s all for… something different is organically shifting from a more denuded place within.  It silently whisper’s “own who you truly are, claim yourself, know your true value.”   Naked and vulnerable, it teaches me to rise up to something else I haven’t known is inside of me.  It shows me that potential is realized by taking the risk to live it.   Like knowing you can fly – though first you’ve got to leap – and voila, out sprouts wings!

How are life’s demands, twists, and turns landing for you?  Breathing?  I find allowing for the process and self-acceptance helps lots. Slowing down faces me with an old coping mechanism I didn’t know was there…. surely it’s a way to unconsciously self-protect:  it’s called perfectionism. Ouch, it just doesn’t allow for life’s lumps, bumps, unexpected curves, and things we cannot control.  What a load of pressure, and it may set us up for failure if we’re not aware of what’s driving us on a deeper level.

Do you suffer from perfectionism?  It looks something like this:  the mind locks onto a goal, idea, or belief (or combination), then like a terrier, it sinks its teeth in and just won’t let go. We go to great lengths and personal suffering to assure it’s done to our definition of perfect.  Thing is, that definition is variable, and changeable according to the perceiver.  It may not really be perfect, though as long as the perfectionist thinks so, then it may become her holy grail, and trap her in a pursuit that can be quite the double-edged sword, holding her hostage to a perceived value, causing her to miss her true worth.

Engaged healthfully, maintaining balance between the gas and the brake, perfectionism can help us excel to excellence. Playing full out beyond the pressure of perfectionism, we can concoct incredibly potent forms of medicine that are exactly what the doctor ordered. Used as an unconscious coping system to mask not feeling good enough on some level, it will likely have backlashes. Gone OCD, we may not register:  when we’ve done enough, the toll of tunnel vision, the pressure cooker, and perhaps most important… we may not have investigated our true value.

Possessed by perfectionism, when Ms./Mr. Perfectionist is unconsciously at the helm, we may not get much of a break and find ourselves pleasing and proving, overworking, self-criticizing, being hard on self (and others), self-punishing…. and well, a whole lot of “self” busyness that can get tiring. Meanwhile, the soul screams to be heard, and we may even find ourselves acting out with substance, sex, food, etc. Perfectionism can be hugely addictive. Modern culture is largely based on how we perform, how much we get done, and there are rewards and punishments that ensue.

Many on a “spiritual path” may use practices (meditation, yoga, cleansing, etc.) to perfection in an effort to redeem our past and gain esteem, though we still may not be enveloped and held by our true value.  The tendency to measure and mark our “progress” through a sense of accomplishment may outweigh our true worth, and mainly serve to cover what brews beneath.

Don’t get me wrong, in my view, perfectionism is neither a good or bad thing. Perhaps how we use it is more the question.  If we use it to cap our discomforts and pains, it may simultaneously limit the realization of our potential.  The good news is, used consciously, it can also serve as an opportunity to dig deeper within and tap the source of our true value, helping us to reclaim what isn’t contingent on how much or what we produce.

Here’s to the Great Strip Down and Denuding that perfectionism often resists and masks. May we trust delayering and de-armoring which often comes in the form of changes in career, relationships, moving, and simply not knowing our way at times.  Here’s to perfectionism helping us to be our best, above performance and production. .

My love & support to you,

Dr. Amy

Birthing A Breakthrough, Part 2

Dearest Reader,

Have you been asking questions such as:  “what’s it all for?”  “does my life matter?”  “what am I here for?”  “does anything I do really matter anyway?”

Perhaps you have health challenges that require you’re full undivided attention.  Work trials rocking you to the core – raising fears for survival, self-worth, and instability ++.  Perhaps relationship issues ask your due diligence.  At the same time, The Great Existential Crisis may be upon you (hence the feelings of “what’s it all for”, etc…).

Whatever your situation, if you’re cruising with minimal bumps and bruises in these tentative times, congratulations. You may be in the minority, and certainly have words of wisdom to share with the majority.

For many, struggling with “why” and “what’s it for” is a universal phenomenon.  If this is you, don’t take it too personally, as if there’s something horribly wrong with you.  What may seem very personal conundrum is also a common collective quagmire. One that doesn’t hold preference to age, race, religion, or sex… it’s actually a mark of our current times.  I see this as a constant working with people, and am certainly not immune to it myself.  BOS I remind myself (breathe, observe, surrender).  Meditation is my medicine.

8_1xFor a few years, I haven’t quite fully grasped what it is I’m going through. Other than, the way I work, live, and love is dramatically changing before my eyes.  No amount of holding on can stop it.  Going against it only creates more befuddlement.  Ay, the great “Be Here Now and Trust” teacher seems to offer the greatest of stability.
Nurturing myself through resistance and rebellion, beneath the old “just work harder” coping mechanism, I’m finding self-forgiveness and ease sure lighten the load, and offer a more compassionate perspective, not only for others – yet for myself.  Peeling back the onion takes ample time, space, and self-care…  and it’s by far worth it, no matter the changes it asks me to make.

Orienting oneself for adapting  to changes truly helps!  Here are some of my mine:

  • start where you are
  • go slower
  • be comfortable with not knowing
  • choose total self-acceptance
  • put yourself first
  • dig deep within
  • give daily space and time to your well-being, passion and dreams… explore your curiosities
  • leave behind what may not be working anymore and nay-sayers
  • trust… yourself, life, and the bigger picture
  • do what you do because you love it, let go of “have to”

What are your birthing, and calling in as a your birthright? Claim it. Own it.  Herein lies the breakthrough.  May we take a stand for ourself, our gifts – what you really want – and simply own what we were born with. What makes you feel happy and excited?  Go there!!!

Love to you!

Dr. Amy

Birthing A Breakthrough, Part 1

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Dearest Reader,

My inner sense says we’re collectively just about on the other side of labor pains, getting ready give to birth; finally hatching what may feel like being 9 months pregnant, through the many lives and changes we’ve lived along the way!

In the past, we may have said “just push more.”  What’s been quite a laborious stage for many, also offers the opportunity to learn how pain can be made pleasure (see ecstatic birthing), and agony ecstasy;  while trials and tribulations are the great transformer and life trainer.  Perhaps we’re asked to face and feel what otherwise may shred not only our inner constructs, yet what also threatens our very soul. The challenges are good news, whether we’re crushed or fueled by them.  A medicinal mixture of feeling both defeated and determined can create an authentic base to regenerate and recreate oneself from. Clinging on to old ways may bring stagnation, frustration, and really play on self-worth.

Adjusting our perspective and receiving, rather than resisting, the great pulverizing healing force of Surrender and Softening is working her magic on our psyche – and our Planet Earth.  Perhaps birthing a breakthrough is a time of inviting the Feminine into our life, which is quite different that pushing, forcing, and bull dozing our way. I don’t know about you, but I really don’t have energy or interest for that any longer.  After a lifetime of running loads of masculine “just do it, and more of it” energy – my system doesn’t want anymore invasion from my mind, and asks for “just surrender to it and receive” instead.  Sounds simple and easy in principle, though the unwinding, trust, and possible redirection of life this creates can feel confusing and complex. Time to break it down, and simplify.

Be sure to keep breathing and open your receptors wide, cause we’re about to pop out the other side.  Whew.  Blood, sweat and tears it’s been as we personally metamorphosis.  At the same time we’re impersonally breathing life into the living, and embracing the cycles of death and dying; whether that’s in a project, relationship, a phase of life, or even our own body. For many, so much is ending – and of course, so much is simultaneously beginning.  You can’t have one without the other, like dark goes with light, day with night, and masculine with feminine.
Fully letting go seems to be the medicine – and magic – for shedding the past, self-reinvention, and birthing what’s being born… even if we may not know what that looks like right now.

If you haven’t already – by hook or by crook – jump on in the canal, and allow nature to have her way.  She’s going to anyway.  Mays well go with the flow.  I know it may feel scary, though anything else in these times is like holding onto a phantom that elusively slips away, just when you think you’ve got it.  Whatever getting “it” is.  Change is the constant stability, and embracing it may be to take one step closer to The Truth of Who We Really Are.

Love to you from NYC, en route to Bali, Spain, France, Italy, and Switzerland.

Amy

Detox Q&A

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Thinking of starting a cleanse? Here are some FAQ!

Q: What do you consider vegetable juice? I saw the recipe for green juice at the bottom of the information you sent. It doesn’t seem like combining those veggies will produce that much juice (you recommend 3 liters a day!).  Can I combine any different veggies with water to make a juice (I don’t have a juicer, so I’m going to have to use my blender).

A: To make 3 liters, you will need lots of produce!  It is a bit of work, though a labor of love, and well worth it.  You can use your blender and dilute with water. You would just fill the blender up, add water about half full, blend super well – then strain it.  It’s not as nutritious, and therefore potent, though when in a hurry – or not yet invested in a good juicer, this is a fine option. Just be sure to drink enough in a day to stay mega hydrated. At least 5-6 liters minimum is my recommendation between juice, herbal tea, and good alkaline water.

Q: For the enema/colonic, I found colon detox & cleanser pills (Dr Tobias or Bio Schwartz) on amazon. Would one of these be okay to use the day after the fast? (I don’t think i’m up for an enema.. )

A: well, a colonic is likely going to be most thorough, though I understand it may scare you a bit. Just get started with what you feel willing to do – that’s more important than anything. Go with where you’re at… that’s wonderful.  You can always grow into other steps as you learn the process, and feel comfortable with it. Small steps lead to large successes.

Q: Can you take the flax seeds and probiotic together in the morning…if not, which should you take first?

A: I suggest taking the flax seeds first, then ideally you’d have a poo or two is even better.  Then when you feel empty, take the probiotics so they can best embed in your intestinal track without getting removed by the seeds, or diluted with liquid.

Q: Finally, you said 2 probiotics in the morning….I found one with 50 billion cfu – it says take one a day.

A: that’s a good high count. 1 is ok to start.

*If you are thinking of starting a cleanse, please email us at studentinfo@amyrachelle.com for us to send you the cleanse manual!