Hello!

How’s it going now at home after our 10 day retreat together – and for many of you, after fasting?

Congratulations to our fasting crew – many of you went on for 2-3 weeks after our 5 day detox together, wow!!!  I’ve had a few requests about what to do after fasting.  Many of us are finding out that its not the fast that’s the difficult part, its after! 

The most common question I’ve been hearing from our detox group:  “wow, fasting is by far the greatest thing ever – yet, now that I’m eating again, I’m wanting to eat everything, and I’m feeling really guilty about it, and even eating things I don’t usually eat.”  Ah, I soooooo understand how you feel, indeed.  Here’s an overview of what’s happening and what you can do:

***as a basis of understanding, please know that our primitive brain, located in the base of the skull, is the commander of our SNS (sympathtic nervous system, i.e. the automatic part of our bodily process).  It’s the chief of survival that does its best to keep up safe through fear and surviving responses that are often operating from outdated information.  When we begin to fast, change our diet, or in general embark upon self-journeying, our True Self has got to get past the doorways of the protective primitive brain… this isn’t without its hiccups at times (i.e. why we self-sabotage, go against our intuition and true desires, and even feel like we’re going backwards sometimes).  Don’t worry – this is all a part of the process.  Here’s a few reasons why:

-one, your body has just dumped a load of toxins/acidity… while continuing to cleanse, your system to using its alkaline reserves to keep your system strong – that’s one of the reasons why you don’t feel so hungry.

-two, when you come off a fast (or eating healthy), your body has to not only deal with the back log of toxins it wasn’t finished with – yet, it also has to compensate for what’s coming in (including stresses)… so it has double duty – and yes, this will make even the sturdiest of soldiers hungry.  This is your body asking for minerals – to replenish what it used in the fasting period.  You’re ok, this is natural.  Some suggestions:

-what to do if you find yourself overeating and/or eating foods off your healthy list? 
1.  Accept it.  Acceptance has a way of allowing the mind to release tension, pressure, and self-inflicted ideas of what health is, that may or may not be accurate.  It gives you the opportunity to join the human club that we’re all a member of – and let go of the perfection party that we can never really be good enough for.  Does that explain why you may not feel good enough at times?  If you haven’t already – let go and accept yourself as is – and you may find a new found freedom that allows you to go even deeper in your growth, with much more pliability.

2.  Recommit to your goals.  Review your goals and reasses what’s realistic for you given other commitments in your life… be sure you’re allowing for a step by step process in your personal transformation (yes, that’s what it is this dietary shift thing), and you give yourself permission to integrate – instead of self-flaggelate (punish). 

3.  Seek Support.  What are the healthy minded groups, friends, and support systems in your area who share similar needs for health and happiness as you?  Please don’t under estimate the need for support – the time of the lone wolf is of the past.  We all do need one another – just because we have needs, doesn’t make us needy.  By getting in touch with your needs for support and those who share your health passion, you may choose instead for the salad, instead of the steak – or the other way around if that’s what TRULY honors you!

So whether you were in our 5 day chef or 5 day detox group or both – really, all 3 points above could be of great help. And ultimately, my biggest advice is this:  BE SURE TO LISTEN TO THAT STILL VOICE INSIDE THAT’S GUIDING YOUR HEALTH AND WELL-BEING.  When it says “put the fork down” or “reach out” or “take time for yourself”, etc…. please be sure to listen… as you know, that’s the part of you that has no agenda, that is always there for your higher good, and it gets stronger by acting upon it.

Please feel free to drop a line if I can be of help to you!

Big hugs!

Love & Support,

Amy

Hello Hello!

How’s it going since you returned home after our time together on retreat?

I’ve been hearing from many of you and continuing to work with some of

you.  From all the input I’ve been hearing, I’m inspired to write you with some suggestions for keeping on track in your daily life, based on our latest discussions:

1. “wow, the retreat was so great – yet now that I’m home I’m having a difficult time making sense of it all”…

This is common and natural.  Coming together with a group of like-minded people who share your enthusiasm for healthy food, health, and being your best is the ultimate environment to nourish the part of you that is transforming, growing, and evolving.  Now that you’re home, here are some of the obstacles I hear many facing:

a.  those around you don’t share your same enthusiasm or goals

b.  your lifestyle isn’t conducive for how you wish to grow, especially with loved ones

c.  you’re missing the nourishment of the group interaction on retreat and how it fed a vital part of you

d.  you’re feeling somewhat scattered because your heart is in one place, and your reality may be in another

e.  you’ve gotten so busy with other life priorities that your enthusiasm for your path may have been put to the back burner

Does any of this sound familiar?  You’re not alone! 

Lets talk about what you can do to support the strides you’ve made

(remember, nothing is lost, its just an opportunity to deepen your commitment to what you really want and look at other areas of your life that may be asking for growth):

-If you find those around you don’t share your same enthusiasm or goals, how about finding TOTAL acceptance and appreciation for those you love – and consider expanding your horizons and open up to sharing with people who do – keeping in mind that, more than likely, not all our needs will be meet with one person.  With loved ones, we often want to share everything with them that we’re excited about, and sometimes they’re excited not only for us, yet for themselves as well in relation to our new suggestions… and sometimes not.  How about loving them unconditionally for all that you do share, and keep appreciating them for the connection you do have, and take good care of that relationship by continuing to appreciate them, and nurture what you share… in other words keep doing what you’re doing because you love it, not because others may or may not share your enthusiasm.  And again, broaden your horizons to include others who are also interested in raw and cleansing and what it brings.  Being an example is usually more powerful than any form of preaching (which may feel like pressure to others). Take any threat away, love, expand, and keep with your passion! Suggestions:  search Facebook for your local raw and detox groups, research your local health store and ask the owner if anyone is doing raw – or if you can offer something you’ve learned there, find out where the raw potlucks are/or host one regularly, find out well in advance if any speakers are coming to your area and offer to volunteer at their event – in other words, reach out and connect, and keep loving and appreciating those close to you for what they can do – not for what they don’t do!

-Are you finding that your lifestyle and choices aren’t in agreement with some friends and family?  This is also – without question – the number one reason many go back to unhealthy ways.  The desire to love and be loved is even more basic and primal than food itself.  So lets be sure to not allow food to be the determining factor if we share or not – or if we open ourselves to a greater degree of intimacy with one another.  Aside from food, without it being involved, what is your true desire for intimacy with those you care about?  Suggestion:  go directly for that intimacy without food being a buffer, reason to gather, or otherwise a potential wedge between you and loving another. Take food out of the equation – and just share.  Otherwise when food is the center of a gathering, take something you’d love to share, that’s a real crowd please, or offer to make food for others.  When it comes down to it – and truly sharing from the heart is your main intention, its often best to keep food out of the picture, at least until you feel more stable in your choices, and not potentially rocked and drawn into other peoples choices out of a longing to share.  Sharing without food and substance = nothing in the way of hearts connecting.  On a practical note for honoring what you really want:  have you set your kitchen up yet?  Organizing it and getting set up with what you need will greatly help (think getting rid of old stuff, staples you need on hand, ordering produce twice weekly, acquiring appliances).  Also, have you explained your choices with your friends and family and asked for support?  This will help others to feel a part of your process and less threatened by your changes… including others – by expressing your feeling and needs (and listening to theirs) supports everyone.  Remember, get in touch with what you feel, to know your need behind it – make a request based on those feelings and needs to your loved ones.

-Are you missing the nourishment of the group interaction on retreat and how it fed a vital part of you?  How wonderful to discover this and the importance of connecting with others… here again, we find out its not about the food, its more about our longing to connect with others who share our interests… and most importantly, the part of us that is being nurtured.  So what part of you was brought to life and inspired by connecting with others during the retreat?  Suggestion:  write that question down and answer it in detail.  Herein lies a very crucial need you have identified (that probably won’t go away and may cause destructive behavior if not acknowledged – such as craving, overeating, negative relating, etc).  Next question:  how are you inspired to reach out and continue to connect with others to fulfill this need (think in terms of going to yoga class, meet-up groups, classes of your interests, making new friends from our retreat, etc)?  What’s required from you to be proactive about your need, rather than ignoring it and falling into depressive or destructive feelings/behaviors?

-Some have expressed that their heart is in one place, yet their reality doesn’t line up with it.  This too is quite common on the path of self-transformation… yes, that’s what’s happening, you’re transforming, and the life you’ve previously created may or may not be up to date with how you are shifting.  Ultimately only opportunities exist – no matter your obstacles and choices – yet the fine line of danger exists as well as we’re finding our way.  The danger is in not acknowledging your true hearts desire, and acting upon it… this can cause us to blame others, project judgment onto them (and their lifestyle/food habits, behavior, etc).  If you feel conflicted by this, it may well be time to tune in within, and ask yourself what you really want in life – and if your outer reality doesn’t match your hearts desire, what can you do to accept others unconditionally and also be willing to make changes, without wronging anyone else?  In short, what does it mean for you to  simply taking responsibility for the direction that honors what you really want, and align your life accordingly guilt/shame/blame free – towards yourself and others?

-Since you’ve been home, have you gotten super busy with catching up while being gone? This I hear often actually.  Careful!  It’s all too often – especially for us ladies – that we distract ourselves from our true needs by taking care of everybody else first.  Most of us know this story well.  And yes, it will eat up most of your time, leave little for you left over, and probably lead to doing your best to keep up – that may at times mean reaching for the stimulate cycle:  caffienne, chocolate, heavy foods, alcohol, etc.  If this is you, it may be time for a reset, yes, another one!  Reassesing how we use our energy – and most important why – may be the difference between feeling like we’re a hamster on a wheel, or a master of our own reality.  This is a big one!  Question:  is your own personal process being usurped by over commiting to others?  If so, why?  What has become more important that your own sense of self and self-care?  What adjustments can you make to allow time for yourself, before saying yes to others?  Suggestions: 1. set up a daily routine that includes self-care time each day… make self-care a habit, 2.  ask yourself “what is the emotional driver that triggers me into overdrive and even forgetting about my own needs?” 3.  what is your support system that helps you with other life responsibilities?  4.  are you commited to your health and happiness and willing to make  necessary changes so that its a way of life?  What are those changes?  What’s your plan for implementing those changes without delay (if you are delaying – why?  Is is based on rational/or irrational motives?  Remember, keep coming back to your true need, i.e. self-care).

2.  “I’m still fasting!  What should I do next?”

Ah – I love it!!!  Exciting!  Way to continue – for this is one of the single greatest things you can do it excel on your path, go the distance in repairing your body (and mind), and know a level of health that comes with letting go, by going through a very deep level of surrender, all the way down to your cells! There is a definite blessing to longer cleanse periods… here are a few suggestions to take it to the next level:

-be sure to consume enough liquids in a day… by this I mean at least 5 liters.  We have one person still fasting now who didn’t want anything but water for 4 days, so by all means, only have water then if its truly your body speaking.  After those days and a few colonics, she is beaming, and life debilitating digestive problems and fatique are leaving her as the very moments pass by… day by day, as she continues to listen to what her body really wants. 

-listen!  To what your body is calling for, let it be your guide… remember, put your brian in your belly and listen very closely to what its calling for.

-process emotions that may surface… most important!  Be aware of distractions away from this (relationships, work, etc).  Sitting with oneself and allowing for the process of both physical and emotional unraveling is to truly take care while fasting. We can often feel quite fragile at times while cleansing, allow for this by tuning in within, and giving time and space to what you’re feeling.

-know when you need support and ask for it.  Not sure what you’re feeling?  In need of support, reach out and ask for it!  Feel free to shoot me an email or call me, or if you need deeper assistance, book a session and we’ll go in deep!  Otherwise, seek support out where you will feel held, understood, and guided in your process (think healing sessions, therapy, talking with a friend, etc).  Support is everything!

-be sure to use your circulation practices, at least one per day:  enemas/colonics (at least a few times per week – and in severe cases daily), massage, dry skin brushing, sauna/steam, light exercise, ear candles, healing sessions, therapy, etc.  This will help the old stuff to come out more efficiently so your body can circulate nourishment unimpeded by the obstruction of toxic blocks.

-keep with a blood cleaner like collodial silver, MMS, GSE, etc – and keep your intestines clearing out with the flax seeds.

-journal write!  Getting in touch and exploring your voice within helps much as your letting go of old stuff and preparing way for the new…

-are you documenting your process?  Let me know if you don’t have our checklist chart – daily recording helps you to track your progress and gain insight of just how much you are shifting day to day.

-decide to love yourself no matter what!  We all have plenty to process in general, so may we go gentle and easy on ourselves – and love anyway – no matter what we encounter within, or in life.  Love Anyway…. And Expect the Best from Life!  Remember, thoughts are things and the building blocks of life… keeping your mind clear will greatly aid in the clearing of toxins from you body.  How’s your meditation practice?  This is key in going deeper, especially on longer fast (check out www.dhamma.org – this is the site to learn about Vipassana – simply the greatest gift ever!).

Day 41 of cleanse… was the last day – a few days ago. I’ve come off this one the most smooth of all times I’ve ever cleansed. Truly the cleanse is usually not the most difficult part for me – its coming off it with ease, grace, and self-care. For the last 7 days of the cleanse I kept with lots of green juice, lemon water, and other pulp free liquids, while adding in raw soups, a little pate, and some days a few bites of salad. This transition was key in preparing my digestive system for solid food. 

I still didn’t feel hungry in these days or have a desire for food. I lost track of what number day I was on – significant of it not mattering – and my mind being so very at peace, and surrendered to the voice of my body’s true need and desire. For those 41 days, no longer did my mind dominate my body and call the shots, yet it easefully yielded to the deeper innate needs of my biochemistry and the magic of clearing and rebooting that continues even now in a more subtle way (that’s not to say it wasn’t incredibly intense at times as old stuff passed through). On day 41, my body distinctly let me know that it wanted food, or I needed to slow way down and go even deeper. Given that I’m in the midst of preparing for one of my biggest events of the year – as much as I would like to continue – it just wasn’t the time to go completely inward, and no longer work. 

Neither having a preference for continuing or stopping, yet only a priority and commitment to listen to my body, I took heed and broke my fast on a small raw pizza and salad… with each bit I chewed well, ate slowly, and continued to listen – feeling my digestive system kick into another gear as nutrition pumped through my body… feeling so much gratitude. In an instant I could feel my body growing physically stronger, and feeling so very powerful like I could climb a mountain. My amazing and great assistant Yuliana and I were on a big shopping trip in Denpasar (the capital city here in Bali) – for our upcoming retreat – and I was driving in full-on traffic for the first time. For an American like myself, driving on the opposite side of the road, and the opposite side of the car in a standard was not without it’s opportunity for extra heightened awareness. Its NOT at all like driving in the organized and ordered American I come from with people every where, motor bikes at all angles, really bad roads with lots of holes and narrow lanes. After eating, driving for 50 meters, I could already feel my mind taking over and taking charge – I became more aggressive, less sensitive to other drivers, and in general began feeling quite fast. Ah – the voice inside was still very audible and present. “Slow down and integrate your mental clarity with your physical strength”, said the voice within, “oh, says my personality, right – ok.” So feeling my mind incredibly clear, sharp and sensitive – combined with my new found physical strength, I eased off the gas and impetus to race forward, took a deep breath, tuned into myself and surroundings, laughed at myself with Yuliana… and continued with more awareness and depth… learning to balance the power of my mind and body together as a whole. 

Since breaking the fast, I continue to detox at a much milder rate as I integrate the big shift I’ve just experienced. I’m still observing what that is as I do feel different and changed – what it is exactly is still yet to be experienced and felt into… I know slowing way down is a big part of that. What I do know is that I not only feel physically the best ever and in excellent shape – I also feel a continued calm and lightness emotionally that remains ever present no matter the busyness and storms that pass through. And I also feel a natural resolve to hold a higher space when confronted with conflict… this is a relieve since I sure feel better loving uncontrived and unconditionally – rather than engaging where it isn’t growing. 

Thank you for reading and your reflections along the way. Its been an amazing journey that continues – and I’m so very thankful to share with you along the way. And if you’d like to come detox with us at the end of the month, check out my upcoming retreat: http://amyrachelle.com/info/10-day-raw-food-chef-detox-retreat/

Day 37 of Cleanse.
A few days ago I actually began feeling hungry for the first time and my body started feeling interested in food again.  Seeing Gabrielle Cousens speak a few nights ago here in Bali, I asked him if he had advice for a long fast… he said “more meditation, and I don’t suggest going past 40 days since you could get ungrounded.”  Ok, I thought… for sure more meditation, not so sure about the other part, though I was open to it.  A few days later my boyfriend said I looked something like a ghost walking around with such a light step – maybe it was all my singing to the plants in the garden, and feeling so very at one with them.  Then the super amazing colonic therapist extradiannoire Nigel, gave me something of the same indication.  My mind expanded more into breaking fast based on what others see – then I journey within myself, feel deep into my body and being, and ask what I truly need.  My mind is at peace with either direction, and doesn’t have a tug in either direction really – its become a servant to my body.  Scanning into my body, I feel my adrenal glands in tender motion, tired, slight discomfort – asking me to check in with how I’m using my energy – specifically around working full-on in a tender state (right, more meditation), and my female organs also felt quite active, not uncomfortable, yet letting me know there’s definitive movement happening – next my belly, this has been most puzzling.  This was day 34, how could my belly look 2 months pregnat, and feel so full?  Yes, much waste yet to be released, for sure.  The next day, Nigel worked his magic on me.  First with a half hour belly/intestinal massage while talking with me about what I may be holding onto, i.e. why my belly was still full – then I realize, its full of old emotions I’d yet to release, and this tension was causing the constriction of mucous, gas, and “older than older” stuff as Nigel put it.  During the colonic, there it came – all the older than old stuff that’s been clogging me up on some level for a very long time.  Wow, and I’m someone who’s been seriously fasting for 11 years as a lifestyle and more less all raw – and vegan for over 20 years.  What really caught my attention is when he asked if I had been eating sesame seeds, “uh no, I haven’t been eating anything.”  Then he let me know I passed a big load of gall bladder stones – and that we got about half of it out.  Whew.  Did it hurt?  No, not at all… actually felt SOOO relieving.  Yet, the second biggest relief was sitting on the toilet immediately after and passing at least another 100 or so out, wow… all the sudden my eye sight felt sharper, my mind more clear, and I could feel an intensive rush of oxygen flowing through my whole body, and my breath naturally deepened.  Even with all this, my belly had only gone down by half.  After massaging it into the evening, and 2 enemas in the morning, another 1/4 of it came out – more stones and old bile.  It’s almost empty now, yet not completely.  Which gives me the sense its not quite time to start eating solid food.  Putting new food on top of old waste feels like it would undo some of the progress I’ve made in these past weeks.  No problem, though food is beginning to have appeal again, my body’s wisdom speaks much louder.  I’ve gone onto blends as of today – raw soups – along with continuing copious amounts of green juice, and some lemon water.  Once my body has released the last holding, I know I’ll be much more absorbent – and ready – for solid food.  I’m in no hurry though, as I can feel a deep transformation happening inside of my mind, as my body is releasing not only old physical stuff, yet undoubtedly old emotional stuff… what that is isn’t yet clear, though it feels something like a rite of passage into womanhood.  Fitting and perfect – despite the discomforts at times – since my birthday is tomorrow.  I welcome in the woman I truly am, unencumbered by emotional constructs that have taken form in my body.  I bless them, give thanks to them, and release them while welcoming all the teachings they have for me to mature from.  I am grateful, humbled – and feeling so much lighter on all levels.

Day 30 of cleanse.  I no longer call it a fast, since I feel so very integrated into this quite light feeding of the past month – that is shifting and morphing me into a deeper sense of what’s really going on inside of me, beyond my usual busyness.  I feel so alive, invigorated, strong, clear, SOOOO much more energy – I plan on going where it takes me, without a plan for “finishing” or “stopping” – rather, I’m following my body each day (and events of life), with a surrendered ease that feels so very natural, and good.  Teaching a raw food class over the weekend, I tasted all the recipes – and could feel the old urge to compulsively eat more, oh so tasty it is.  Yet, more alive in me than the taste sensation, is how food feels in my body.  At this point, solid food just plain makes me instantly feel tired – and would quickly lead to feeling heavy if I didn’t listen to that voice inside that says nothing more than “stop.”  Familiar is that voice, yet it’s typically on low when I’m not in a conscious cleansing period.  Right now that voice is so very audible, clear, and to the point, to deny it – and the accompanying instant full feeling I feel eating 2 bites – would feel so very numbing and so against what my body really wants.  All it wants is liquid, and lots of it.  4 liters of green juice each day, a few liters of lemon water, a few liters of watermelon maybe – and alternatively maybe some turmeric lemonade and noni and herbal tea.  Easy… especially since here in Bali, the wonderful ladies in my kitchen make it all for me, while my team and I work on our next retreat and getting our place ready.  They don’t quite understand why I’m not eating, and seem a bit worried – especially since they say they fade if they don’t eat 3 times per day… and they ask me why I’ve only lost 3 kilos.  I explain to them that after you go through the initial period of passing a great degree of toxins through your system – so long as you started with a strong mineral bank (i.e. you’ve been eating raw for years already and fasting)… you don’t really need so much solid nutrition anymore, and you don’t lose so much weight anymore as an advanced cleanser.  It’s rewarding to see them respond with such enthusiasm… nice energy around our house.  Ah so love it.  Am I tempted by food?  Not at all. And if I really want something I taste a bite.  Feel its affects in my body.  Listen.  And so far, my body has asked me to stop after 2 bites – on the few days I’ve tried something.  So it is.  Until my body is really asking for food, I know it isn’t finished cleansing. I feel so surrendered to not eating -  if that’s a few more days, years, or lifetimes – all good, feeling this good doesn’t compare to taste sensations that my body doesn’t really like.  My mind has never been this surrendered on a cleanse.   And emotionally, I just simply feel so much more balanced, quite inside, at peace, and in general content – with a sense of  simplicity that brings me a silent joy and ease.  So much different than when I started a month ago with creaky joints, an achy body, dark circles under my eyes, and feeling quite emotional.  I feel so happy just to be, to be free of wanting and needing, and thinking about food – and it turns out I don’t really need it after all.  And the sense of freedom that gives me just makes me a nicer person… oh also, my intuition is increasingly sharpening.  Trusting this greater perceptability, the depth of inner connection, and the quite inside makes it clear to me that until my body really really asks for food, I’m doing just what it needs.  Maybe this is what being present has to do with… and discovering a deeper sense of who I really am, beyond looking externally for satisfaction in food, people, places, and things.  That doesn’t mean I don’t feel the need for others, on the contrary… I actually feel like I have so much more to share, from very different place inside.  

Can I even call it a fast anymore?  It just feels like a way of being that reminds me of being a child again – my natural, normal state that brings a lightness to my step, and an uplifted sense of well being, goodness, calmness, and ease – all is good – kind of like a return to innocence of sorts. I almost forgot.  I wonder why I would ever really go back to eating… at this point, after so many years raw and fasting my body has rebuilt to the time of my early 20′s which makes the necessity for food almost seem redundant – and even destructive – when I eat outside my body’s true desire.  In my mid-40′s now, my body can handle the odd roller coaster of emotions that have historically led to self-sabotage (that sometimes still resurfaces) – yet I’m ever learning to navigate these tulmutous waters with self-care and love instead.  I’m not attached or motivated by living up to a “leader” label or anything other than just being a fellow human honestly finding their way, and inspired to connect and share.  The deeper I go into fasting, and feeling so tremendously free from high’s and low’s, cravings, obsessing with food, wanting, etc… the more I realize its not about food at all – of course.  This lightening up is showing me a greater degree of self-understanding, and an expanded empathy that is fine with just simply feeling – all of it.  Maybe I’ve been avoiding TRULY feeling the utter depths, and filling it with food all these years (even being raw) instead?  It makes it clear the longer I “fast” – or drink lots of juice everyday (and maybe take a small amount of blended veggies, or a few bites of salad here and there – especially on the beginning days when I was detoxing intensely) – I really don’t need anything. In this place of peaceful ease, I’m so very satisfied and content, to just be.  I’m reminded that without the all-consuming compulsion of food on my mind – this steady and consistent peace is always available to me – and it’s so much more important and nourishing than really anything else.  I’m also reminded how food and substances can never replace what its really all about – what I’ve always longed for – and this love inside isn’t necessarily fed by food.

How’s your feeling heart today?  On cold winter days in NYC, staring out from my computer onto snowy Houston Street, my heart felt restless and longed for something else.  If only I knew what.  Ever feel that way?  I knew it involved warmth… which meant spending more time with those I love than my computer, a break from relentlessly working – and palm trees.  Staring out from my computer now, I see coconuts hanging from way above, my lush green garden magically gives us mangostiens, star fruits, papaya, mangoes, durian – and then there’s our  freshly planted veg garden – ah it goes on.

Sweating in my seat, I’m so very inspired to share with you.  Why?  Because my heart longs, and has longed, for the same as you… really just to share.  Following it here to Bali has been challenging in many ways, yet so ultimately rewarding that I’m thanking life everyday… and for the confirmation that when I follow my heart – I do get what I want, though it may not look like what I think I want, and it may involve some bumps and bruises along the way. Continually facing these challenges for the past few years – on a quest to live true to thyself – to live in a ceremonial culture of prayer, to experience daily warm balmy breezes, and gentle loving people – its all been worth it… and it gives me the opportunity to invite you here on retreat after finishing months of renovation on our ready retreat place.